In summary

As I look at my pictures, I realise they show little understanding. Pictures of people who I don’t know and will never know, and who, in general, have much of what I realise is missing from me: company, happiness, comfort, fulfilment, presence, who are needed and have a role in society and other people’s lives. Pictures of gestures, behaviours, places I superficially survey, signs I fetishise as abstract and unreadable. I stand on the outside. The only means I have to avoid disappearing is to take photographs, to intrude in lives. It serves no function, yet keeps me alive. I notice people and immortalise them. Nobody notices me. I have no role in anyone’s life. At the end of all this, I am aware that the more I see, the more it reinforces who I am, and how my life is awkward, problematic, unfulfilling and isolated. Conversation is more rewarding, yet this is fleeting and difficult, with a language barrier, and through the fact that I am a demanding conversationalist. My cynicism of human behaviour must be some kind of envy. Who am I to judge? Who would rather be me? I would rather be someone else, but who? I would rather have another life, but what? Is that what this is all about?

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3 thoughts on “In summary”

  1. Hey Andy, getting philosophical here! Maybe your photos don’t affect those are n the picture but they certainly make an impact on those who view them. For instance, the bizare image of locals in a kind of fishing competition in an abandoned swimming pool on a building site in Jogyakarta. Your eye and passion for taking pictures certainly inspired me.

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    1. Hey Nick
      Thanks for the encouragement: it’s good to see someone reads my thoughts (but not my mind!). Yes, pretty existential, isn’t it? My China trip wasn’t the most relaxing, and I experienced a number of setbacks – physically and psychologically. It was only 2 weeks, yet I feel on coming back displaced and find it hard to answer the question “did you have a good time?”……… I can see you are still on the road. I wonder how your travels are changing you guys. I know it must be very different being with your family all this time, with you adapting, changing, experiencing, reflecting together. That must be amazing!

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  2. Hi Andy,
    We are back at home now. Back to reality! We thought about a visit to China but felt it would be too much of a culture shock for Sam after nearly a year on the road. The question about whether you had a good time will probably become clearer once the dust settles. I find that often the most extreme,awkward, unpleasant and even dangerous experiences later, become favourite topics of conversation with which to bore my friends over a beer or three.
    On reflection, our experience as a family was an amazing opportunity to share an adventure together and I feel incredibly fortunate and proud of what we have achieved.
    Hopefully one day we will have the chance to catch up and talk more. You are always welcome here.
    Take care,
    Nick

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